I got it good
Sometimes I sit back and realize, man I got life good, I have no right to be passive.
Three people have lately reminded me of what matters:
1. This summer I lost a bro. In my mid to late teens, I spent a lot of time with a kid named Reymond; he was a Philippino guy my age who I got to know through the church I went to.
We both had a passion for hip-hop and would spend lots of time mixing tapes for each other (Blackstreet, DMX and Jay-Z stuff) and chill on the weekends, mostly talking about girls. We’d play b-ball on my driveway (my dad would yell at us to turn down rap blasting from the boom-box beside the hoop) and were on a v-ball team on the weekends, we where tight. We’d hang out at this place called the Hippo Club, down by the Quay and spend quarter after quarter playing pool and 16bit video games. During a church organized camping trip, I saw him slice his hand open and get the nickname “razor” ramon.
When we were 17, we road-tripped down to Utah with our bishop. Most of the nights, before falling asleep, were spent talking about our fears, dreams and what we would be in the future; both of us in our sleeping bags sharing a guest bed. We woke up with our headphones on, cause we both enjoyed falling asleep to music.
We’d go to countless dances only for him to hear me bitch about how there were no girls I wanted to get with, when in fact I just didn’t have the balls to talk to them. He never called me out on that, he let me run my mouth to feel better about myself. He was a true friend who knew how to just listen.
I regret losing touch with him after that, he moved to Alberta and this was before myspace or facebook, while I was busy getting ready to head out to the Czech Republic. Rey gave me confidence when I was in my teens cause he was cool. And me… well I was more of a poser, but hey I made sick mix-tapes right?!
I found out this summer that Rey committed suicide, leaving behind him a wife and a kid.
He would have been 24 or 25 in a completely different life than I. Maybe he didn’t have a friend like he was to me to talk about his problems. Maybe he just needed someone to listen.
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2. Last month I assisted with a National Kidney Foundation informative video; I helped film a guy (Dale Murdock) who has the longest living kidney transplant, out in Mudd Lake, Idaho. I learned about more than just kidney’s.
In 1964, at age 14, Dale’s kidney’s failed and he went in for an experiment transplant at the University of Colorado. Kidney transplants were still a new thing and many didn’t survive the operation. On his hospital wing there were ten beds. Out of the ten beds, he was the only one who made it out.
Dale weighed 98 pounds when he came in, after all the medication he had to take to assist his nine months in the bed, he gained 200 pounds.
“I wasn’t expecting anything, I had been given up for dead,” said Dale.
Now 44 years later, his kidney is starting to give out. Is this a man who complains about where he’s at? (at the end of the shoot he got into his tractor to prep the straw on his farm for bails) No, Dale talks about his 7 kids and his love of an active life, including rock climbing. During the shoot a woman accompanied him who seemed to be his partner, yet when I asked her if they were together she told me with a slight laugh, “Ask him, I’ve been seeing him for 10 years yet he sees many other women so I don’t know.” This guy may not be perfect but he’s out there making it happen.
He said “I see so many people(kidney donor recipients) who live the transplant life… its all about the meds and the fears, not about living.” You can’t help what has happened to you but you can focus on living life with what you got. Dale only looks back to “recognize the donors, the ones that are willing to share a part their life with another, sometimes even a stranger.”
Dale feels it is important to not worry about “what ifs” if you are in a constant state of worry life will pass you by. I dig.
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3. This is something I found out about two weeks ago.
This is about one of my favorite coworkers, Angela, that I met while interning in NYC earlier this year. She was one of the first smiling faces to greet me as I started my first day and she took me out for my first lunch in the city. She was stoked about my snowboarding and skateboarding hobbies and made me feel so welcome to the new environment. When we saw each other in the hallways we would usually break it down and do a bunch of hip hop dance moves ending in laughter. Besides being a awesome professional, she made people bond together; I wasn’t on her team or side of the floor but would regularly go out of my way to see her to joke around or just say hi.
She was the one in the office always rounding up everyone to do events after work was done and she wasn’t even HR. Angela is nice to everyone without expecting anything back, she is completely genuine.
When I left NYC I promised to stay in touch with her. A couple months later, on their way home from a Yankees game “a car coming the other direction cut off a US Postal Service truck. The truck went over the concrete divide and hit Rich (Angela’s husband) and Angela head on. Rich died on the scene and Angela was rushed by helicopter to the trauma center.” According to caringbridge.org
But looking at her journal entries, Angela is back and cheerful, look at this weeks entry: ”Greetings from North Carolina’s voting station where I was able to register and cast my vote after a short wait in line. This felt very important for me to do and I was elated to accomplish this.”
Although I’m sure there is a lot of work for her to be physically well, I bet that Angela will take it on without much complaint while continually making people around her feel great. I absolutely look up to that.
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All three examples are very different case but all three individuals taught me something. Listen to your friends, look forward and be genuine.
